"Kearns Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
I have been made aware of a trend in the land-o-blogs that some like to do flashback stuff to review old pictures of yourselves or others. I think that is lame. But because I think that is lame doesn't mean I am above it and I am totally willing to indulge. However I am going to give a Berp-worthy take on the whole thing. "Ber" itself is an old joke, and old fad, that I will never let die. Why? Because sometimes rehashing old stuff can become funny again. Just as tapered peg legged pants will also become cool again.
Here is my joke theory. Jokes, well timed and well placed, can be hilarious. The repetition of a joke can become old and stale. What most decent and normal human beings then do, however, is the mistake. After a cold, dirty look from a friend the then stale joke becomes another joke of the past. One that isn't rehashed or brought up again. It dies a sad and lonely death in the graveyard of old worn out jokes. This my friends is wrong. Just plain wrong. What most people don't appreciate is the fact that old jokes can come back just as quickly as they died. A joke that has gone stale if pushed with persistence can come back and be funnier than ever before. There is a bit of a lag time where you have to deal with the scowl of friends, and the threat of never being spoken to our hung out with again, but then - THEN - is the glorious moment that someone gives a little chuckle. That chuckle is a crack in the icy cold wall of old jokedom. The chuckle is not directly pointed at the joke it is, in fact, that that joke being told AGAIN is so ridiculous and that it has risen again from the dead is not simply something funny and entertaining. But now it is on another level. A level of funny that will never die. It isn't the old joke that is exactly funny in the same way it was the first time it was told, but it has risen to a higher level of fun. It is now on a higher plane of existence. Think Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
Anyway back to the point of the post. For my flashback Friday I am rehashing an old joke that should never die. Manda sent us all an email a while back depicting different Barbie's with different themes. They were hilarious. She commented - thankfully there isn't a Sandy Barbie because she feared she'd never hear the end of it. So in that same vein I created what I called the Sandy Barbie - observe:
"Sandy Barbie"
This wonderful gem comes complete with midsize family, midsize SUV, and of course two genetically defunct Lhasa apsos (they come pre-named Maui and Milo). The full set comes with a conveniently located Wal Mart with or without the gravel pit. Of course the family includes two multi-ethnic and one down syndrome child - perfect to start the budding Sandy family. While Ken is not seen here, you can be assured he is at his 3rd job and popping his 5th Viagra soon to be on his way home. Although not the most sought after Barbie she is slightly better (albeit less drug addicted) than her cousin "White City Barbie." Soccer stadium sold separately, at a substantially higher cost.
Oh and honey - while you are at the store with the gaggle of our children - don't forget the beer. Thanks!
