The Joy of being a foster parent - with update!

Today when I got home from work, a little late - but that is all I will give as my fault to this situation, I was in for a big surprise.

It had already been a long day in that I had to stay after work with the Sophomore Committee doing pictures and meetings. That was fun. But I did get home about 5:30. As I do, since we are fostering right now, I say hi to Lacey and give her a little attention before I go and let the beast out of the kennel.

A little background: A couple of weeks ago the Utah Animal Advocacy Foundation (UAAF) leader Maryjo asked if we could take a little terror into our hands. Normally she is always boarded up in Brigham City where a nice boarding place donates space to the UAAF. She didn't have a foster home. The reason she was there is because she is a bit aggressive. She has been returned to the group twice because she bites strangers. Once involving a mailman.

Anyway when Brandon brought her home he "claimed" she had nipped at him at the Petsmart where he picked her up. Okay, she probably did. But he still brought her home. This dog that apparently is timid around men and her timidity is what brings on the biting. Great - let’s bring the dog to where two men live. Anyway, She's here.

He brought her over and told me "do not look at her directly in the eyes. Do not go down to her level. Be careful with your hands. Do not reach your hand toward her. No sudden moves. Don't talk too deeply. Etc..."

Oh great! What have we got ourselves into? So we greeted Lily with our garden gloves on. Soon enough she had warmed up to us- more so to Brandon than me. In fact she is still protective to the point of biting or killing in this order. Brandon over Me and Lacey, Brandon and Me over Lacey, and Brandon, Me, and Lacey over anyone else. I hugged Brandon and got a growl. I reached toward her while she was sitting by Brandon on the bed and she growled. Lacey and she do NOT get along. They have attacked each other multiple times. It seems as though she is doing it to protect us most of the time.

Yesterday when I was to take them both for a walk when I got home from work then the garbage truck was going by. Lacey loves to bark at the trucks. Lily loves to try and kill Lacey when she barks. The larger the louder the truck the worse Lacey barks, the worse Lacey barks, the more her life is threatened. Immediately Lacey barks and lurches towards the truck. Lily immediately attacks Lacey. In a brawl of fur I saw the following snapshots.

1. Lacey under Lily - Lily's jaw on Lacey's ear
2. Lily being pulled back by me - Lacey biting Lily's tail
3. Lily again on top of Lacey me pulling on both their leashes - it isn't working
4. Lily's jaw around Lacey's neck - my foot kicking into Lily's side to remove her from my dog.

Ahhh, it was great.

So anyway - where was I? Oh yes. The point of this post: today.

Today I came home from work a little late. I spent my time with Lacey. Something didn't smell right - literally. I figured Lacey must have had an accident. But how odd - that never happens. I sniff around. Nothing. I said to Lacey, "should we let Lily out?" I'm sure Lacey's response was "hell no" however since I was distracted by what I saw in the kennel I didn't hear what she said. I wish I had and had listened to her advice.

In Lily's kennel was a pile of dog dung. It looked a bit like curdled pesto. I am not sure if I will be able to have pesto soon. The good and bad news is the poop was there. The bad is that - well - it is poop I am going to have to clean up. The good news is that it was still there. One thing I forgot to mention is Lily has a history of eating her own fecal matter.

So I let Lily out and knowing about her submissive biting/peeing/pooping issues I decided I better not be mad or mean - I mean after all, I was late. I felt bad. As she climbed out of the kennel you could tell she was very ashamed of what she did and was expecting a beating (no doubt why she is so aggressive because she was mistreated by someone). I bent down to pet her and she peed on the floor.

"Oh, okay Lily," I said in a high toned sweet voice. Trying to not make the issue worse. "Let’s go outside..."

Continuing my sweetness I bent down to pet her again about 6 feet from the kennel (which is in the office) in the kitchen. Oh - peed again. Full sized amount both time, mind you. We're not talking a little piddle. This time I am trying to continue to be sweet and Lily does her second timid thing and rolls on to her back. Right in her pee.

"Oh, okay Lily," I say again in the sweetest voice I can muster. "Outside."

She goes outside and I turn around to put my coat on the counter. Apparently she came in from outside through the dog door right behind me.

"Bleh" (sound like a Tupperware of chunky chicken noodle soup being opened and sloshed onto a wall)

Suddenly I feel something cool on my leg to accompany the sound. I look behind me and a substance in similar color but more fluid than the poop in the kennel was sprayed all over my leg, two square feet on the floor on the side of the stool and the side of the bench by the door. Pesto-rama all over again.

"Sweet lily, please remove yourself from my presence and go outside please." I ushered both dogs outside and began to clean quietly and patiently. Normally I would have cursed more now than a lifetime's worth but for whatever reason I continued calmly. I mopped up everything; I cleaned up the poop in the kennel. I took my pants off and washed off the pant leg. Everything was spic and span.

I let the dogs in. Back to the routine. I fed them dinner. I was turning on my laptop and relaxing from my "welcome home pesto party" and then I see Lily walk over to the fireplace. Almost to the tile - but of course not quite. Her back arches in a poop-chute sort of way and there it comes, farts and all, greasing on the rug and the tile. Apparently Lily was not done.

After calmly removing Lily from the house again (you'd think she would have gotten the time during the 15 minutes I was cleaning to do this out side. But if you did think that - you'd be wrong) I cleaned up her mess again. Then I left to go have dinner with Arlyn.

As I returned I called Brandon to let him know I was on my way home. During the conversation I heard a familiar sound. Think Chicken Noodle Soup in a Tupperware and the wall again. Then Brandon said a few choice words. Apparently Lily was sitting on his lap, as cute as it is, and vomited all over him, his computer, the desk, and the floor.

So there it is. A night as a foster parent. In all its glorious glory. All because people breed their dogs we do this. Thanks a pant load. (pant load comment copyright Manda Holty).

Well it is off to bed for me. Off to the only room of ours Lily hasn't soiled. At least yet. I wonder what pesto explosions while you sleep sounds like?

UPDATE- Lily vomited and pooped in the bedroom. The sanctuary is over. Also observe the vomit counter on the left <----