Observe - the amazing munchkins!

I had these on the side of my blog but I thought they were so funny they deserved some comment space. Enjoy! :-)

Patrick (Manda's spawn)

Mylie (Amy's little Angel)

Tayler (Chelsea's little man)

Kali (Kim's princess)

Wishing for a snow day...

Remember when you were in school and a snow day was like a random Christmas day that just popped up out of nowhere? Suddenly your big test or your nightmare friend was pushed away - as far as you were concerned for forever. You had a day to rest to do whatever you wanted. It was a gift of a day from the snow Gods. A precious 24 hours that you were planning on using, on sitting, learning, and hating - and now...whatever you want. What EVER you want!! It was a glorious moment. I am not sure that you can feel closer to God than on a snow day. A connection with nature like no other - where you and your wants and your needs were in tune with the clouds. You were at one with the world around you. It was a such a rare and blessed gift - maybe happening once or twice in a lifetime. Everyone deserves the right to have at least one in their life time - it is a fundamental right for all human beings.

That said - what do you think is better than a snow day as a student?

Answer: A snow day as a teacher.

Problem is - I haven't had one. On Saturday Kristin called me to tell me the secretary brought the calling tree home with her because it's looking like we might have a snow day on Monday. She was SO excited. That seed was planted into my head. Suddenly the day looked so much brighter. What was looking like a plain old 2 day weekend. One that goes by in the blink of an eye. One that doesn't even tease you with freedom - it is gone so fast you aren't even sure you left work. But the idea of a potential surprise 3 day weekend was engaged into the garden of my brain...it had rooted. It was growing. I was so happy (you can ask Brandon - I was). As Sunday evening came I sat in front of the computer knowing I SHOULD get a class together for the next day. I SHOULD prepare to teach. I SHOULD...but couldn't. The idea of a snow day had grown into a full on 100 year old maple tree in my brain. It was so big and so strong I couldn't ignore it. Instead I sat refreshing the forecast on weather.com over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Slowly I saw the storm arriving later and later. Absolute and utter devastation was growing in my mind. The tree in my brain was being ripped out limb by limb. Continuing to avoid doing what I should have been doing I flipped on the TV in hopes of something more accurate. Then the news. Gordon B. Hinckley had died. NO!!!! I NEED THE WEATHER!!! (no offense intended see tribute here). I switched from channel to channel. Nothing. Finally I got a blip on KSL - the storm wasn't expected to arrive until AFTER the commute.

I was devastated. Heartbroken. Suicidal.

This sort of devastation, I think, can only be experienced in ones life ONE time. More than that is too much for the human body to handle. I think I read it is the number one cause of suicide - but I could be wrong on that figure. Don't quote me on that.

I went to school the next day. One of the hardest days of my life.

As I sit here tonight (Tuesday) another storm is rolling in. 4-6 inches expected over night. I am cautiously optimistic. I only have one more of those devastations left for my frail frame to be able to handle so I am trying to protect me from that emotional stress. Kristin sent me a text message saying it was snowing hard up north...we were hoping.

It's all about timing. 4-6 inches is nothing if you give the "wonderful" snow plows a couple of hours they will have it gone and salted. But if it came at the right time - so that the roads were horribly covered say around 6:45 it might be just right. It might be. I'm hoping. I'm thinking about praying. I really cannot let me hopes get too high. But no students. No whining. No "I forgot my homework, please give me another day." No "I didn't hear you say to do that part, Mr. Clark." No "I've been gone the last three weeks can you give me the work I missed?" No regulating the bowel movements of children. No giving pencils to the perpetually idiotic and unprepared. No chatting it up with kids you really couldn't care much less about. The thought of the joy of a snow day is just TOO good. Despite my best defenses. I am here writing this blog - and not preparing for class tomorrow.

The seed has been planted.

Here's to hopin'



UPDATE: 6:50 AM....I'm up...eating honey nut cheerios...getting ready for work...there is a knife close by...the skin at my wrists is very thin....

PS - I am not really suicidal. Just bummed. :-(

Eleven Years Ago...

As I was getting this blog post together Brandon said to me - doesn't it make you feel old remembering something eleven years ago. The answer is a definite, yes.

11 years ago I went on a trip to California with a couple of people. I think we went to Disneyland and other various places in So. Cal. I might need some reminders of who all went, but I know it was Amy (sister) and I think Jeff (now brother-in-law, Jill (friend of Amy and Kim's) and maybe Greg (Jeff's brother) came also. I can't remember for sure who all came. They had a longer vacation with Kim (and Kevin?) earlier but she had gone home before I got there.

On the 31st of January we decided to go to the Tonight Show. While we were in line we met some crazy lady who said she goes to every show. She comes very early and waits in the line. We were there pretty early and for a while we were the only people in line with her. She asked us if we wanted to know a secret. Of course we did. What would be stranger than a lady who is perpetually in line to see Jay Leno giving us information? Well it turned out to be right. She told us that even though they don't allow cameras in the studio when Jay comes out to warm up the crowd before taping he will ask if anyone has any questions. If you get him to call on you ask to get a picture with him. He'll call you up on stage and take a Polaroid. As you can see by the picture above that is exactly what happened!

He came out just before taping dressed up fully in his Levi shirt and pants...really classy, Jay. He told a few jokes getting us ready for his monologue. He then asked if anyone had any questions. I shot my hand up and he called on me first. Then the next moment was captured on the picture. He asked me where I was from and my name. It was a cool experience. On the show was Pamela Lee Anderson, I believe and I don't remember what else. We used to have it on tape somewhere, maybe I'll be able to find it and put it on here.

Anyway I was pretty excited by the whole thing. I have pretty vivid memories of us waiting outside the studio all day. Some of us going to the close gas station to get us some food. Crazy lady who had been in line from Johnny Carson to Jay Leno. Our invitation to go into the waiting room early because we were the earliest people there. It was a great experience and I remember a lot of it even though it was eleven years ago!

And here it is after multiple requests...

Okay obviously Betty Butterfield didn't do very well...only two comments. Well I know you have all been waiting for this one. This is part two to the wonderful production by Lake Powell Productions. It is the Clark adaptation of Rapunzel. We call it "Rap"unzel. I had to call and beg Amy and Jeff to let it air...come to think of it I didn't ask anyone else who is in it... Hmmm. Well folks if you have an issue with it let me know I'll take it off. Maybe.

You all did a great job and you should be proud of your work.

Observe!

"RAP" UNZEL!

Part 1


Part 2

Introducing Betty Butterfield

I'm not sure if this person has any relationship to you, Ed, but I do see some similarities. :-)

I laughed so hard when I watched this I had to share it with my peeps. You might see some similarities to Shirley Q. Liquor but there is no relationship for obvious reasons.;-)

In this episode Betty Butterfield gives some insights into her recent trip to a Lutheran Church. Enjoy.

Please allow me to geek out for a moment...

This is me screaming like a school girl...



This is some info (from yahoo)if you are so inclined...


ONE: Everything New Is Old Again Like Batman Begins and Casino Royale, this latest incarnation of Star Trek is a franchise re-start that goes back to Kirk, Spock and Bones' first days aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise. But instead of starting with a completely clean slate, Leonard Nimoy returns to the role of Mr. Spock to tie in the original cast with the new.

FACT TWO: Harold and Sylar Go to Starfleet Academy For the part of the young Spock, Heroes star Zachary Quinto will don the pointy ears. Chris Pine (Just My Luck) plays Kirk, Karl Urban (The Lord of the Rings) is Bones, Zoe Saldana will be Uhura, and funnymen John Cho and Simon Pegg are Sulu and Scotty. See the full crew in this photo slideshow.

FACT THREE: You're Dead, Jim William Shatner has publicly expressed his disappointment with not being included in the new film. But as any Trekker could tell you, Captain Kirk died fighting the evil Soran on the planet Veridian III at the end of Star Trek: Generations, the first movie that featured the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

FACT FOUR: J.J. Loves the '60s This is the second movie J.J. Abrams has directed, and it's his second based on a television show from the 1960s. His first feature, Mission: Impossible III, was based on TV's Mission: Impossible that ran from 1966 to 1973. Coincidentally,
Leonard Nimoy had a starring role on both series.

FACT FIVE: Christmas: The Final Frontier The new Star Trek won't beam up into theaters until December 25th. To bide your time until then, you can catch up on all of the old Trek adventures. All six television series and ten motion pictures are available now on DVD. And scroll down this page for an exclusive first look at the new teaser trailer.


I can't wait!!!

Jenny From the Block - High School Style

I have to tell everyone about one of my students. I have been wanting to do a post for a while about my World Civilizations class - but haven't found the best topics and was worried I would just end up screaming or cutting an important vein in my body.

But after talking with my coworkers today I had come across a perfect topic. It is the end of the semester and most of the kids are switching to other teachers. Honestly - I couldn't be happier. Makes you start to wonder what some of your teachers thought of you. Hmmm... Anyway there is a student of mine that is one of those larger than life personalities. One that all the teachers who know her laughs and has a story the moment you bring up her name. Due to the uncanny persona that Jennifer Lopez and the student shares we have nicknamed her Jenny from the block (JFTB). I will keep her real name anonymous because I don't want to be fired....wait a minute - maybe I'll tell you her name. No. I want to go out with a bigger bang than that.

Anyway Jenny from the block is a student with more attitude than someone twice her size and age. She wears tight pants a puffy coat which is a bit short. The coat has some fur-like substance spewing out of the hood. She is a Latina Hoochie who walks around like she is the 16 year old gift to the world of men. She is totally disinterested in school and reminds you of this with an occasional grunt of disgust. She remains clueless to what happened about five minutes prior - or at least acts that way. She carries with her an attitude that she is from California and can't believe she has to be here in Utah with these types.

Anyway I can't be too mean to her because she does translate to my Spanish-only speaking student. But in return she has yet to remember my name - EVER. She will call me by saying "Mr....." and then trail off like she can't remember. I will respond by saying "Clark!" Loud and abruptly. I'm glad I've made an impact on her life the last five months I've known her. So now that I have set her up a bit let me tell you of a quips concerning our own Jenny From the Block.

The other day class had just started. I was talking to the class and up she popped from her seat and walked past me. She said "I have to go." I'm like "okay - why?" She said, "My mom is here, I have to go..." and she walked out the door. I was like okay. There was no one standing at the door...but she was gone. JFTB does as she pleases when she pleases.

In any instance where she feels slighted or feels the air of slightation she will call someone "racist." She has made one teacher at our school cry by calling her just that. JFTB says what she wants to say.

One day in Kristin's class she was absent. When Kristin asked her students if anyone knew where she was - they said she had gone to Compton....come to find out that is where she is from. That alone says SO much. On wikipedia it lists "crime" as the second topic about Compton and it says in 2006 it was rated the most dangerous area in the United States. Denise also told Shannon L. that she went to school there. She got kicked out and that is why she is here. Oh great. JFTB grew up in the rough part of town - it has toughened her up.

Today was blackout day - meaning everyone was to wear black - particularly for the game tonight. So most students are wearing black today. Kristin was in her room when in trounces JFTB. Wearing all white. Head to toe. She asks if she can talk to Kristin and she responds by saying, "I'm very busy, but I will break to make fun of your outfit." JFTB says that she wanted to stand out and be different. Well she did that. JFTB is her own woman and ain't no one going to tell her dif'rent (snap to the right, left, right when saying that).

She was with a friend today going into Shannon L's class and they were asking Shannon L. about where she lived and made fun by asking if anyone was shot there recently (Shannon L. lives in Glendale - SLC). JFTB piped up and said - "Oh my boyfriend lives there!" JFTB knows where to find her kind.

JFTB is an avid Oakland Raiders and LA Dodgers fan. She even stood up in Kristin's class to sing a song about it. JFTB supports her peeps.


And finally one of the best things was today after she walked into Kristin's class white as a new bride on her wedding day talking to Kristin she opened up a bag with scores of CD's. She told Kristin that she wanted to talk to her about having the DJ play these CD's at the stomp tonight so she can have a good party. She assured her that she had edited out all the swear words. Kristin said she needed to talk to the DJ if she wanted to do that. She assured Kristin that she had it covered. Thanks JFTB. You always make our day. JFTB knows her music. Anything with a good beat or a latina flare has her ear.



JFTB is a spot of latina spice in a sea of white Mormon - a perfect combination. Good news is despite the shifting of students this semester I get to have Denise for another two terms. There will be more stories, I'm sure.


UPDATE: Just moments ago JFTB was seen outside Shannon M.'s room (it was Shannon M's first JFTB sighting). A teacher walked out and said to her "there's my homie!" to her. She responded (and say with a latina hoochie voice because it makes it funnier) - "since I am your homie can I have an A?" He shrugged it off and then she said "you know Kylie - who is also in your class with me - she's right over there" she points "well...she wants to fight me!" JFTB is a homie to her homies but a fighter when she needs to be.

Without a plan.....I go into planning

I have an announcement that in all honesty has made me very happy the last couple days. I think what it is I have found is the light at the end of the tunnel.

Wednesday was probably one of the most horrible days of my teaching career. Nothing in particular happened it was the cumulation of all things that was putting me over the edge. Administrators, kids, ADD, ADHD, 504's, World Civ, AP, parents, DEA, EAS, Praxis, late work, preparation, notes, senior-itis, stupidity, presentations, whining, sleeping, talking back, smelly kids, lazy kids, disinterested kids, seeking motivation, grading, essays, acting like I care.

I had had it.

I came home and complained about it to Brandon and he told me I wasn't going to bed until I applied for graduate school. So I did it. I have officially started the process of applying to the University of Utah. I still need to do a couple of other things to make it official (and, of course, be accepted) but I have applied to the 'U' and upon acceptance will attend this fall. This change in schedule will require that I reduce my teaching to part-time. I am a bit terrified to tell my principal, but I have to do it now. I must keep my AP classes. If they don't let me keep my AP classes if I go part time I WILL quit. Hopefully it won't come to that but I cannot do World Civ only all year. That would kill me. Literally.

What am I going into, you ask?

I've decided to get a Masters of Urban Planning. It may seem like a complete change in direction but hear my explanation. I have always been fascinated by cities and the way they are constructed. Walkable neighborhoods, revitalizing blighted areas, zoning, gentrification, historic structures, new structures. I really love it all. I walk around the avenues - or downtown - or in cute neighborhood centers and I constantly remark about how neat it is or how great it feels. I would love to have an education that will give me words and understanding of how a city's heart works. What makes a city live. I hope to be an integral part in the development of Salt Lake City from a good city to a great city. Obviously this path may not take me into working for Salt Lake City - but it would be great! But I'm excited to embark on the next phase of my life.

Thanks for voting in my poll concerning that - but 'dad' (other than Lacy) will have to wait - but maybe not too much longer. Going part time is half that effort too.

Humpday Hansel

So many of you who read this blog have already seen this. Many of you were in it. But I thought it would be fun to put this on the internet so everyone and anyone can see it (actually it is not on public display on Youtube. It is private so unless someone steals it from here it is private).

For those of you who don't know every year my family goes down to Lake Powell and we get delerious in the hot hot sun. So years back we started making "movies" based on whatever we want. The rule is we can not prepare in advance and bring things down such as costumes and props. So all we have to use is what is on the boat. Floaties, noodles, towels. Whatever. Many of them are edited by myself at home when we get back - and this is that finished result. Here is one of the cutest we have done. It is starring mostly the Roark kids. They are just TOO cute! We miss you guys in North Carolina!

Unfortunately Youtube only allows 10 minute clips so it is broken up into two. Only like 1 minute is on the second one - so I apologize.

A Hairy Situation...

At Viewmont High School we (Kristin, me, the Shannon's) have three defining moments of our three years since we started.

The first happened during our first year. It was the attack of the Gremlin. The special ed student who growls, talks with a scratchy voice, comes randomly into your class, and if you catch her at the wrong moment you might be clawed by her. She wanders the school going wherever she wants whenever she wants. She has walked into Kristin's room and asked everyone in the room to their face what their name was and thenattacked Kristin's computer by slamming her fists onto the computer. One student offered to take her to where she was supposed to be and the student came back with claw marks all over her neck. She walked across the gymnasium floor as a student was giving a political speech. She walked right in front of him unaware that there was anything going on. The crowed gasped in fear. She popped her head in Kristin's room asking the class what they were doing in the middle of Student Body Officer speeches. She terrifies Kristin, and makes me laugh.

The second happened during year two - it was two separate instances with similar traits. The first happened to Shannon L. She wandered into the faculty womens restroom and another teacher was in there with the stall door wide open. Did she screech and close the door? While making you wonder why she'd have the door open in the first place, this move would have been preferred to what really happened I am sure. She kept the door open and carried on a conversation with Shannon as though nothing was strange or going on. Shannon left terrified. The second bathroom incident was for me. I walked into the boys bathroom and heard a student on the phone in the stall. The door makes a horrible sound when it is opened so he had to know I came in. He was doing his business on the toilet and carrying on the strangest conversation with someone on the phone. I only remember two comments 1. "I used to like to look at you when you poop." and 2. "Do you think she likes me?" How those two statements go together or should be said at all is beyond me. I quickly walked out and hesitate to go in there now.

Now third year and a third surprise. It will probably not be the only one but hey - it is a goody. The other day a student brought in a book, Of Mice and Men, to Kristin. He told her it wasn't his book but his sisters from a couple years ago and he apologized. Kristin accepted the book. The student left and Kristin examined the book for problems. Oh? Whats this? A little surprise? Scroll back up to the picture at the top of this post and see if you can see it emerging from the middle of the book.

Yup a clump of frizzy hair was extending its reach from the depths of page 83 like a person drowning trying to get air. Kristin has a weak stomach and the wrong thing said or the wrong scent of Cafe Rio or some other smell that is an "unknown" comes her way she will begin to dry heave, near vomit, and usually will scream and end up running to the bathroom for safety sake.



When I came into the room later that day and was chatting with Kristin she brought the book out with the greatest of care. She tossed it in my general direction to have me look at what hairy surprise was in store about the time Lennie broke the head of the dog (reference to the story, btw). There it was jaggedly sprawling itself from within the book and spreading it's proverbial legs into the air outside. I laughed and this is what ensued shortly thereafter:



As I tossed it on the floor we decided to open the book and see what was inside. How far did this hairy situation go? How much of this poor girls locks were stored for safe keeping inside this tale of depression sadness? And the question no one wanted to ask out loud. Where - exactly - was this hair from? Blech....

I opened the book using the hair-clump sized separation in the paper guide me to the page the surprise was hiding. I opened it up and sure enough just when Lennie was about to place his hands over the mouth of Curley's wife we had a eye full of our own "Curley's":



The book was kept for one day to show the Shannon's. But then it was quickly thrown away. It is on its way to the city dump right now. I will never look at a book, particularly Of Mice and Men again.

Disgusting.

Oh the life of a teacher....more to come. I'm sure.