Remember when you were in school and a snow day was like a random Christmas day that just popped up out of nowhere? Suddenly your big test or your nightmare friend was pushed away - as far as you were concerned for forever. You had a day to rest to do whatever you wanted. It was a gift of a day from the snow Gods. A precious 24 hours that you were planning on using, on sitting, learning, and hating - and now...whatever you want. What EVER you want!! It was a glorious moment. I am not sure that you can feel closer to God than on a snow day. A connection with nature like no other - where you and your wants and your needs were in tune with the clouds. You were at one with the world around you. It was a such a rare and blessed gift - maybe happening once or twice in a lifetime. Everyone deserves the right to have at least one in their life time - it is a fundamental right for all human beings.
That said - what do you think is better than a snow day as a student?
Answer: A snow day as a teacher.
Problem is - I haven't had one. On Saturday Kristin called me to tell me the secretary brought the calling tree home with her because it's looking like we might have a snow day on Monday. She was SO excited. That seed was planted into my head. Suddenly the day looked so much brighter. What was looking like a plain old 2 day weekend. One that goes by in the blink of an eye. One that doesn't even tease you with freedom - it is gone so fast you aren't even sure you left work. But the idea of a potential surprise 3 day weekend was engaged into the garden of my brain...it had rooted. It was growing. I was so happy (you can ask Brandon - I was). As Sunday evening came I sat in front of the computer knowing I SHOULD get a class together for the next day. I SHOULD prepare to teach. I SHOULD...but couldn't. The idea of a snow day had grown into a full on 100 year old maple tree in my brain. It was so big and so strong I couldn't ignore it. Instead I sat refreshing the forecast on weather.com over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Slowly I saw the storm arriving later and later. Absolute and utter devastation was growing in my mind. The tree in my brain was being ripped out limb by limb. Continuing to avoid doing what I should have been doing I flipped on the TV in hopes of something more accurate. Then the news. Gordon B. Hinckley had died. NO!!!! I NEED THE WEATHER!!! (no offense intended see tribute here). I switched from channel to channel. Nothing. Finally I got a blip on KSL - the storm wasn't expected to arrive until AFTER the commute.
I was devastated. Heartbroken. Suicidal.
This sort of devastation, I think, can only be experienced in ones life ONE time. More than that is too much for the human body to handle. I think I read it is the number one cause of suicide - but I could be wrong on that figure. Don't quote me on that.
I went to school the next day. One of the hardest days of my life.
As I sit here tonight (Tuesday) another storm is rolling in. 4-6 inches expected over night. I am cautiously optimistic. I only have one more of those devastations left for my frail frame to be able to handle so I am trying to protect me from that emotional stress. Kristin sent me a text message saying it was snowing hard up north...we were hoping.
It's all about timing. 4-6 inches is nothing if you give the "wonderful" snow plows a couple of hours they will have it gone and salted. But if it came at the right time - so that the roads were horribly covered say around 6:45 it might be just right. It might be. I'm hoping. I'm thinking about praying. I really cannot let me hopes get too high. But no students. No whining. No "I forgot my homework, please give me another day." No "I didn't hear you say to do that part, Mr. Clark." No "I've been gone the last three weeks can you give me the work I missed?" No regulating the bowel movements of children. No giving pencils to the perpetually idiotic and unprepared. No chatting it up with kids you really couldn't care much less about. The thought of the joy of a snow day is just TOO good. Despite my best defenses. I am here writing this blog - and not preparing for class tomorrow.
The seed has been planted.
Here's to hopin'
UPDATE: 6:50 AM....I'm up...eating honey nut cheerios...getting ready for work...there is a knife close by...the skin at my wrists is very thin....
PS - I am not really suicidal. Just bummed. :-(
wes have you ever thought about writing a book? Great "wonderous" words. Kaden is learning about those. I remember only one snow day as a child. We were living at Grandmas and Grandpas, and that is all I remember about it. No chance of a snow day here, they do occasionally let school out for a hurricane. But we wouldn't be that lucky.
ReplyDeleteI wish you would stop making death threats to your self. Its not funny.
ReplyDeleteSorry, Kim - just trying to be over the top dramatic. I guess it worked. Sorry! :-(
ReplyDeleteSorry about the lack of a snow day thus far! Have you tried a snow dance? You really should write a book! Maybe that's what you should do. Quit your job and forget about grad school or kidlets and write a book! Hey, then everyday can be a snow day! Heck! You may even re-join the church you would be so close to God :)
ReplyDeleteI hear the city is running out of money for snow removal. Maybe even a small storm could bring on a snow day without snowplows.
ReplyDelete