Born August 9, 2010
7 lbs 6.8 oz
18.5 in tall
7 lbs 6.8 oz
18.5 in tall
After a one-year process of endless paperwork, physicals, meetings, financial disclosures, and of the doling out of thousands of dollars Brandon and I were able to grow our family by one. On April 25th we were matched with a woman who lived in Wichita, Kansas who was looking for a loving home for her baby. She chose Brandon and me and the rest is history (a endlessly roller coaster of a history).
Here is the story of his birth:
On August 8th Brandon and I flew out to Wichita for the anticipated c-section birth of Xander. Our journey was a grand one from the beginning as just two days before that we found out we could be in Wichita for two weeks! How do you pack for the birth of your child, for two weeks, in a place you never really been. So many unknowns!!!
The first part of our trip was comically focused around finding a freezer for our breast-milk (Thanks Amy and Chelsea for starting off our little guy on the right foot!)! The clock of its defrosting started when we left our house so by the time we arrived in Wichita we were already concerned it was going to be melted. Luckily it was okay but we needed to get it into a freezer quick! When we got our car we just about drove away but decided it smelled too much of smoke and we didn't want our new son breathing that nasty air. So we waited to have it replaced...45 mins later we were on the road, milk slightly less frozen. We went to the hotel we had booked and found out there was a mistake and we didn't have the room until the next day. Yikes! So we quickly searched for a close hotel that had a freezer. Milk thawing... We quickly drove to the new hotel and I ran to the room with our cooler of milk. Mistake! No freezer in this room. The hotel staff then spent the next 30 mins looking for a room that for sure had at least a freezer section in the small room fridge. Finally - success!
Later that evening we got together with the birthmom of our son for dinner at Applebees. This was Brandon's first meeting but my second since I had come out a couple of weeks before to visit. After exchanging stories and getting to know one another a bit more we headed back to the hotel for our LAST night as a childless couple. We were nervous, excited, scared, happy, and just about everything else that night.
Before we knew it, it was time to head to the hospital. We packed up our gear - checked out of the hotel - and headed to the Via Christie Hospital (yes, a Catholic hospital - gay couple adopting a baby in a Catholic Hospital in the middle of Kansas - *gulp). Once we got there we headed up to the hospital room to meet up with birthmom and her good friend. The doctors came in and prepared mom for the impending surgery. Not too long after that mom and friend headed to the operating room - too bad for us - only one person allowed.
We went out into the waiting room and began our 3 hour wait before we got to see our baby. While waiting the white knight of the whole process showed up - Joann, our Wichita social worker. We had never met her but she was there to ensure the process in Kansas went well. She not only was an advocate for the birthmom but an advocate for us - especially for our rights as the future parents of our son. She stayed with us for quite some time while we waited. We knew birthmom would have to go into surgery for about an hour..then recover for 1 to 2 hours. One hour after we left mom while we were in the waiting room chatting with Joann we heard a voice come over the intercom. Shorter after 10:40 AM a recorded message announced to the hospital that a "new baby has been born!" We knew this was our son!
Then the real waiting game began because we weren't sure how soon we were going to see him. While we waited Joann helped us establish a hospital room next to the birthmom's room so that we could both share in the experience of his birth. About an hour after the intercom announcement the birthmom's friend came out of the recovery room with the first pictures and video of our son. What an awesome experience. As I write this now I can remember how awesome that felt to see him. Having some time to digest it all I can now better realize how amazing that experience really was. An hour later while we were getting set in our room and passing time by browsing the internet and chatting birthmom arrived with baby in tow! I saw him first and quickly ran over and picked him up off of the wheeled bed birthmom was laying on.
I was holding my son. W O W.
I quickly passed him on to Brandon for his first hold. It was one of those surreal moments that are so fleeting. It is one of those moments where you feel so compelled to take pictures endlessly trying to capture the moment but in reviewing the pictures it never feels the same - because a camera can never pick up the emotion, the excitement, and the sensations of holding your son for the very first time.
From that moment on we have had the little guy. Other than brief visits over to birthmom.
The night of his birth we had narrowed our names for the little guy down to four - Connor, Carter, Owen, and Zachary. Funny that we ended up with non of them. For some reason none of them fit. So we went back to the first name we had chosen months ago - Alexander.
We stayed at the hospital for two nights. We had him both nights and cherished every moment of it. It was somewhat awkward with all the hospital staff coming in and some seeming like they were less than approving of this adoption. Was it adoption in general? Was it this birthmom? Was it this adoptive family? Who knows. Who cares. A few close-minded people were not going to ruin this experience for us. These two days flew by. He passed all his health checks with flying colors and they let us go Wednesday morning, August 11th.
Funny story here - hospital policy required that the baby was transported out of the hospital being carried by someone, presumably mom, in a wheelchair. This makes sense if the person carrying baby out had just been through a major surgery. Me - I had to make a 70-year old woman push my fat a** in a wheel chair out the front door past all the strange looks and odd jeers of the hospital staff and visitors. After a somewhat emotional goodbye to birthmom (she was staying until that evening, but we knew we'd see her again before leaving Wichita) we headed out to freedom....sort of.
Due to the complications of laws involved in the process we had to stay in Kansas for a few days - up to and possibly over two weeks. We weren't sure how long but had settled in for the long haul. We stayed at the Value Place hotel - a rent-by-the-week place which had a full kitchen. Not glamorous - but did the job. We begin our new routine of bottle-warming, breastmilk thawing, formula mixing, sleep interrupting, cooing, kissing, and cuddling. What a new world - and what a strange place to do it.
Luckily we had a couple of visitors to give us a hand and give us some much needed family company.
The day after our release Grandma came to help out and meet her new grandchild. The next day his grandma (Nonnie - pronounced No-knee) on Brandon's side of the family came too. It was so great to have them there if anything to break up the monotony of the small hotel room. They also gave us confidence to leave the hotel room and endless, needed, motherly advice. It was so great to have them there.
While it was so annoying that we had to stay there as long as we did we can also look at the silver lining - we got to spend uninterrupted, priceless hours bonding with our son. How many people get to do that? We quickly adjusted to life in a hotel room with baby in the pack-n-play. We learned all the ins and outs of bottle use and sleepless nights. It was an amazing and memorable time of our new young family's life.
Finally 9 days after we had arrived and 8 days after we got there we got the okay to leave the state. We had to get all the papers signed and so we headed over to birthmom's house for our last visit and all the paper/legal work. This was one of the more emotional moments of the trip - the big goodbye. While birthmom was resolved in her decision it was still a sad and happy moment for everyone. We signed all the paperwork without problem, gave hugs to everyone, and headed to the airport.
Our flight had a layover in Colorado for a couple hours so we were able to see Brandon's sister, Xander's new cousins, his uncle and his grandpa (Poppi). It was so great to see them on our way!
Then finally we got home. It was so nice to see the girls and be home at last. We were quickly getting tons of visitors from family and friends. It was so great to be back home and feel the warmth and love from so many people. Once the glow was over we quickly settled into our new "routine" which from here on out will be known as Xander's Xoo.
Here is the story of his birth:
On August 8th Brandon and I flew out to Wichita for the anticipated c-section birth of Xander. Our journey was a grand one from the beginning as just two days before that we found out we could be in Wichita for two weeks! How do you pack for the birth of your child, for two weeks, in a place you never really been. So many unknowns!!!
The first part of our trip was comically focused around finding a freezer for our breast-milk (Thanks Amy and Chelsea for starting off our little guy on the right foot!)! The clock of its defrosting started when we left our house so by the time we arrived in Wichita we were already concerned it was going to be melted. Luckily it was okay but we needed to get it into a freezer quick! When we got our car we just about drove away but decided it smelled too much of smoke and we didn't want our new son breathing that nasty air. So we waited to have it replaced...45 mins later we were on the road, milk slightly less frozen. We went to the hotel we had booked and found out there was a mistake and we didn't have the room until the next day. Yikes! So we quickly searched for a close hotel that had a freezer. Milk thawing... We quickly drove to the new hotel and I ran to the room with our cooler of milk. Mistake! No freezer in this room. The hotel staff then spent the next 30 mins looking for a room that for sure had at least a freezer section in the small room fridge. Finally - success!
Later that evening we got together with the birthmom of our son for dinner at Applebees. This was Brandon's first meeting but my second since I had come out a couple of weeks before to visit. After exchanging stories and getting to know one another a bit more we headed back to the hotel for our LAST night as a childless couple. We were nervous, excited, scared, happy, and just about everything else that night.
Before we knew it, it was time to head to the hospital. We packed up our gear - checked out of the hotel - and headed to the Via Christie Hospital (yes, a Catholic hospital - gay couple adopting a baby in a Catholic Hospital in the middle of Kansas - *gulp). Once we got there we headed up to the hospital room to meet up with birthmom and her good friend. The doctors came in and prepared mom for the impending surgery. Not too long after that mom and friend headed to the operating room - too bad for us - only one person allowed.
We went out into the waiting room and began our 3 hour wait before we got to see our baby. While waiting the white knight of the whole process showed up - Joann, our Wichita social worker. We had never met her but she was there to ensure the process in Kansas went well. She not only was an advocate for the birthmom but an advocate for us - especially for our rights as the future parents of our son. She stayed with us for quite some time while we waited. We knew birthmom would have to go into surgery for about an hour..then recover for 1 to 2 hours. One hour after we left mom while we were in the waiting room chatting with Joann we heard a voice come over the intercom. Shorter after 10:40 AM a recorded message announced to the hospital that a "new baby has been born!" We knew this was our son!
Then the real waiting game began because we weren't sure how soon we were going to see him. While we waited Joann helped us establish a hospital room next to the birthmom's room so that we could both share in the experience of his birth. About an hour after the intercom announcement the birthmom's friend came out of the recovery room with the first pictures and video of our son. What an awesome experience. As I write this now I can remember how awesome that felt to see him. Having some time to digest it all I can now better realize how amazing that experience really was. An hour later while we were getting set in our room and passing time by browsing the internet and chatting birthmom arrived with baby in tow! I saw him first and quickly ran over and picked him up off of the wheeled bed birthmom was laying on.
I was holding my son. W O W.
I quickly passed him on to Brandon for his first hold. It was one of those surreal moments that are so fleeting. It is one of those moments where you feel so compelled to take pictures endlessly trying to capture the moment but in reviewing the pictures it never feels the same - because a camera can never pick up the emotion, the excitement, and the sensations of holding your son for the very first time.
From that moment on we have had the little guy. Other than brief visits over to birthmom.The night of his birth we had narrowed our names for the little guy down to four - Connor, Carter, Owen, and Zachary. Funny that we ended up with non of them. For some reason none of them fit. So we went back to the first name we had chosen months ago - Alexander.
We stayed at the hospital for two nights. We had him both nights and cherished every moment of it. It was somewhat awkward with all the hospital staff coming in and some seeming like they were less than approving of this adoption. Was it adoption in general? Was it this birthmom? Was it this adoptive family? Who knows. Who cares. A few close-minded people were not going to ruin this experience for us. These two days flew by. He passed all his health checks with flying colors and they let us go Wednesday morning, August 11th.
Funny story here - hospital policy required that the baby was transported out of the hospital being carried by someone, presumably mom, in a wheelchair. This makes sense if the person carrying baby out had just been through a major surgery. Me - I had to make a 70-year old woman push my fat a** in a wheel chair out the front door past all the strange looks and odd jeers of the hospital staff and visitors. After a somewhat emotional goodbye to birthmom (she was staying until that evening, but we knew we'd see her again before leaving Wichita) we headed out to freedom....sort of.
Due to the complications of laws involved in the process we had to stay in Kansas for a few days - up to and possibly over two weeks. We weren't sure how long but had settled in for the long haul. We stayed at the Value Place hotel - a rent-by-the-week place which had a full kitchen. Not glamorous - but did the job. We begin our new routine of bottle-warming, breastmilk thawing, formula mixing, sleep interrupting, cooing, kissing, and cuddling. What a new world - and what a strange place to do it.
Luckily we had a couple of visitors to give us a hand and give us some much needed family company.
The day after our release Grandma came to help out and meet her new grandchild. The next day his grandma (Nonnie - pronounced No-knee) on Brandon's side of the family came too. It was so great to have them there if anything to break up the monotony of the small hotel room. They also gave us confidence to leave the hotel room and endless, needed, motherly advice. It was so great to have them there.
While it was so annoying that we had to stay there as long as we did we can also look at the silver lining - we got to spend uninterrupted, priceless hours bonding with our son. How many people get to do that? We quickly adjusted to life in a hotel room with baby in the pack-n-play. We learned all the ins and outs of bottle use and sleepless nights. It was an amazing and memorable time of our new young family's life.
Finally 9 days after we had arrived and 8 days after we got there we got the okay to leave the state. We had to get all the papers signed and so we headed over to birthmom's house for our last visit and all the paper/legal work. This was one of the more emotional moments of the trip - the big goodbye. While birthmom was resolved in her decision it was still a sad and happy moment for everyone. We signed all the paperwork without problem, gave hugs to everyone, and headed to the airport.
Our flight had a layover in Colorado for a couple hours so we were able to see Brandon's sister, Xander's new cousins, his uncle and his grandpa (Poppi). It was so great to see them on our way!
Then finally we got home. It was so nice to see the girls and be home at last. We were quickly getting tons of visitors from family and friends. It was so great to be back home and feel the warmth and love from so many people. Once the glow was over we quickly settled into our new "routine" which from here on out will be known as Xander's Xoo.
So fun to relive. I'm glad you are finally doing this. mom
ReplyDeleteNice summary of the first two weeks with Xander. I look forward to the future with the bubs.
ReplyDelete